You are Not Alone: Lessons from Lived Experience to Honor Suicide Prevention Month

Sharing Hope, Support, and Resources for Suicide Prevention.

Why Suicide Prevention Month Matters to Me

Cari with her family, long-time partner, Greg, and her twins, Calvin and Jaquie

Every September, Suicide Prevention Month brings stories of loss, resilience, and hope to the forefront. For my family, this month is deeply personal. My son Calvin has battled depression, anxiety, and the overwhelming weight of suicidal thoughts and attempts. Our journey hasn’t been easy, but it’s taught us that no one should face these struggles alone. By sharing Calvin’s story, I hope to spark understanding, encourage conversation, and remind you: there is help, and there is hope.

Calvin’s Journey: Living with Depression, Anxiety, and Suicidal Ideation

Calvin is bright, creative, and deeply compassionate. Yet, he has lived with depression and anxiety since he was very young. There were days when getting out of bed felt impossible for him. There were nights filled with worry and fear—for Calvin, and for our whole family. The times when Calvin voiced his pain, or when he tried to hide it, are etched into my memory. And there were moments when his struggle became so intense that it led to suicidal ideations and attempts.

Witnessing someone you love hurt so deeply is terrifying. As a parent, I felt desperate to help, yet sometimes powerless. But through Calvin’s experience, I learned that support, resources, and empathy can make a life-saving difference.

What Calvin Taught Me: Insights on Mental Health, Resilience, and Empathy

Calvin’s journey has taught me vital lessons about mental health. First, I learned that depression and anxiety are not weaknesses—they are health conditions that deserve compassion and attention. Second, it’s crucial to listen without judgment and to be present even when you don’t have all the answers. Calvin showed me that resilience isn’t just about bouncing back—it’s about holding on, sometimes minute by minute, and knowing you’re not alone in the fight.

Empathy became our lifeline. Instead of asking, “Why can’t you just be happy?” I learned to ask, “What do you need right now? How can I support you?” These small shifts in conversation can break the silence, tear down the walls, and build trust.

My Role as a Certified Instructor: Mental Health First Aid and QPR

As Calvin struggled, I sought ways to support him beyond love and encouragement. I became certified in Mental Health First Aid for youth, adults, and older adults, as well as QPR (Question, Persuade, Refer), a suicide prevention program. I say, QPR is like CPR, but for the brain. These trainings gave me practical tools to recognize the signs of mental distress, start difficult conversations, and connect people to professional help.

Mental Health First Aid teaches us to be “first responders” for mental health—just as we would for physical health emergencies. QPR empowers us to ask direct questions about suicide, offer hope, and guide someone to safety. These approaches aren’t just for professionals; they can be learned by anyone who cares about the wellbeing of others.

The Power of Resources: How 9-8-8 Saved Calvin’s Life

One night, when Calvin’s pain felt unbearable, I called the 9-8-8 crisis line. He was in Wisconsin and I was in Vermont, and we needed support. In that moment, trained counselors offered understanding, support, and practical steps to keep him safe. I have said, and will continue to say, 9-8-8 saved Calvin’s life. The 9-8-8 lifeline is available 24/7 for anyone experiencing a mental health challenge, from early signs and symptoms, to worsening signs, to crisis, and it’s a resource I wish every family knew about. It’s not only for the person who is having the challenge, but for anyone who is supporting that person and looking for ideas and strategies to help.

Beyond 9-8-8, there are resources like local support groups, therapists, school counselors, and online communities. Reaching out for help is a sign of strength—not weakness. For Calvin, knowing he could talk to someone immediately made all the difference. At my trainings, I provide a comprehensive Resource List and I continuously update. It will also be available on my website, www.ourhopefulminds.com very soon. Please look for it there, or feel free to contact me at cari@ourhopefulminds.com and I would be happy to send it to you.

Supporting Loved Ones: Advice for Families and Friends

If you’re supporting someone who struggles with depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts, remember: you don’t need all the answers. Show up. Listen. Let them know they’re not a burden, and that you care. Learn about mental health—consider taking courses like Mental Health First Aid, QPR, or Mental Health Literacy, which I also teach, yourself. Build a safety plan with clear steps and resources. Don’t be afraid to reach out for professional help.

Community matters. Sometimes, just sitting together in silence, or sending a text that says, “I’m here,” is enough to remind someone that their life is valuable.

Hope and Moving Forward: Breaking the Stigma

Calvin’s story isn’t unique, and that’s exactly why it needs to be told. Millions of people live with mental health challenges, and millions of families walk alongside them. Suicide Prevention Month is a time to break the stigma, to open up about our struggles, and to encourage hope.

If you’re hurting, or if you’re worried about someone who is, please reach out. If you don’t know who, by all means, reach out to me. Call 9-8-8. Talk to a friend, a family member, a counselor. Hope is real, help is available, and you are not alone.

You Are Not Alone—A Call to Action

Calvin’s journey taught me that with compassion, resources, and community support, lives can be transformed and even saved. This Suicide Prevention Month and all year through, let’s commit to checking in on our loved ones, learning about mental health, and sharing resources like 9-8-8. You are not alone; together, we can create a world where hope is stronger than despair, and no one has to walk this path by themselves.

If you or someone you know is struggling, reach out today. There is help. There is hope. Let’s keep reminding each other: you matter.